"Natural" makes everything healthy, right?

This is advertising at its best.  It's Simply Natural Cheetos.  Natural White Cheddar Puffs.  That makes sense, right?

"It's natural, so of course it's healthy", says Cheetos advertising.    But really though, Cheetos, really?  This is disrespectful.


Here's my straight face.  Well, posing/playing with photoshop/straight face but a straight face nonetheless.  Just work with me.  I thought my hair looked really cute that day.  :) 

MGD Straight Face

I literally burst out laughing in the supermarket when I saw this bag.  Folk were probably concerned about my mental health status but I couldn't help myself.  I was just wondering away to myself how oxymoronic "Natural Cheetos" was.  It's kind of like:

Organic E.coli Infection

Natural Crisco

Organic High Fructose Corn Syrup

Natural Rat Poison

See, in all these situations, simply tagging on the name "organic" or "natural" doesn't change the fact that you will end up with bloody diarrhea, a heart attack, diabetes and die from intense muscle spasms.  A little graphic huh?  I know........med school training.

Then I thought of the audacity to have this plastered on the front of this bag of factory-made food.  Advertising works and Cheetos knows that.  So I just have a few questions.

1.  When did White Cheddar Puffs become natural?   

2. Is there a White Cheddar Puff tree that my nerdy brain has not had the pleasure of becoming familiar with?  

3.  Is the styrofoam-like texture of the puff specifically adapted to maximize sunlight exposure and thus optimize photosynthesis?  

These are crucial questions that need answers and I want those answers now, Cheetos. 

But, really, the most important question is:

 Did you knowingly place the messages, "No High Fructose Corn Syrup", "Sea Salt, "No Artificial Colors, Flavors or Preservatives" and "Gluten Free" to attract the health-conscious minds who read these very labels as a tool to make healthful decisions?

I unfortunately think I know the answer to this question already. 

This is exactly what trips folk up.  It's the words, the labeling, the presentation.  All of that creates a certain perception and as my mother has always taught me, "Perception is everything".  I just wanted to highlight this in particular because I think this is where you can find yourself in a situation where you think you are making the healthiest choices but the truth is you may be totally blind-sided and a bit off track.  The word "natural" or "organic" is automatically processed in your brain to mean something is good for you, something healthy.  Every natural, whole, unrefined food should be healthy.  Your body knows this.  Your body, however, senses this when the healthy food is literally healthy and not simply labeled in a way as to seem healthy.  Your intestines don't read food labels.  They can't be tricked.  That's why I love my body.  It's the realest of the real. 

So your body doesn't read food labels but the great thing is that you do.  You have the most amazing glob of jelly sitting in your cranium.  I say that with every ounce of respect for the human body as physician will be the name of my game pretty soon.  You know that even if Lays decided to come out with a line of "organic" or "natural" potato chips, the most important thing to focus on is the fact that they are still chips and fried in a boatload of oil.  

Stick to the basics, my people:

Whole foods, Plant-based, lots of colors, especially green, lots of variety, and water.  

You are a beautiful and brilliant individual that can think.  Think about whether the labeling actually makes sense.  Use that glob of jelly to the best of your ability and it will serve you very well.

Thank you for reading!  Leave any thoughts you may have in your bangin' brain below in the comment section.  My people, I appreciate you all so much.  Be happy and healthy.  Ciao!